


just the right fit

by deceptivesoldier, talkplaylove



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, POV Bucky Barnes, Rule 34 and Tetris, Sex Toys, Social Media, Steve Rogers in a Leather Jacket, nintendo please dont sue us, tetris - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-17 11:01:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14831040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deceptivesoldier/pseuds/deceptivesoldier, https://archiveofourown.org/users/talkplaylove/pseuds/talkplaylove
Summary: “There should be atetrisvibrator. The blue line one! Or the other shapes if you wanna get kinky.” Bucky says, wiggling his eyebrows. He grins, maybe a little bit maniacally. “Clint, we gotta start a line of Tetris-themed sex toys. We could put it up on...on Kinkstarter!”“We gotta find a designer.”Famous last words.





	just the right fit

**Author's Note:**

> In the spirit of Tetris coming ;) out 34 years ago today, here’s a fic!

There are cans of beer strewn all over the living room, a pack of cards in disarray on the coffee table. Clint’s lying on the couch, eyes crossed at the ceiling, having just finished a very long, impassioned speech on thin crust versus thick crust and how we all should just enjoy goddamn pizza and get along. Bucky’s on the floor, leaning against one of the cushions, fingers flying over an old Brick game he found on Craigslist.

“You know what would be fun?” Bucky asks, eyes squinting to the side as he presses more buttons.

"What," Natasha says, sitting on the ottoman across from them. She has her phone up, possibly recording for posterity.

“There should be a _tetris_ vibrator. The blue line one! Or the other shapes if you wanna get kinky.” Bucky says, wiggling his eyebrows.

"The T-shaped one would be an anal plug," Clint contributes helpfully. He lifts his hands up in the air in a T-shape. “Don’t need that end to get lost up there.”

He looks at Natasha and winks.

Bucky grins, maybe a little bit maniacally. “Clint, we gotta start a line of Tetris-themed sex toys. We could put it up on...on Kinkstarter!”

Natasha snorts.

“We gotta find a designer.” Bucky says, nodding in a knowledgeable fashion.

Famous last words.

*

 _Leave Pizza Alone!!_ goes up on Natasha’s Twitter on Sunday night. The video gets three million views in two days.

Clint gets a BuzzFeed interview, gets turned into a meme, and naturally, becomes a Pizza Influencer. His Twitter is littered with pizza discount codes and his Instagram full of blurry dog shots and close-ups of pizza hits two million followers over the course of the week.

“What the fuck?” Bucky says, scrolling through Clint’s Instagram during their usual Friday dinner, shaking his head as he eats another slice of FREE pizza.

“Hmm,” Nat says, crossing her legs. She’s squinting at Bucky like she’s up to something. Bucky feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise.

Sure enough, Bucky wakes up the next morning with a Twitter tag on Kinky Tetris...?

 _That’s_ the video Steve Rogers sees.

*

Steve Rogers. Twenty-eight. Blond, blue-eyed, hasn’t encountered a challenge he didn’t meet head on, whether that’s creating a self-lubricating dildo (developed, patented and constantly being improved on at Stark Sex Labs) to knotting toys (no, not the bondage kind).

He also happens to be a sucker for pretty brunets.

So, that’s a thing.

*

Bucky doesn’t really care about Nat uploading the videos—he’s a video game reviewer in his spare time with a decent following, and his drunk ass is damn funny, thank you very much. He opens his Twitter DMs to a thousand and one messages, ranging from corrections (“It’s _Kick_ starter”) to lewd DMs to arguments in favor of Galaga-shaped toys. He groans and deletes them all.

Which is the moment when one Steve Rogers (Verified Account) slides into his DMs.

 **STEVE ROGERS (@sgr_;))  
** **Hey Bucky ;)**  
**I work at Stark Sex Labs, and I stumbled onto your video. You wanted a designer? I think I could be your guy.**

Had it not been for the blue Verified check mark, Bucky would have probably just written the guy off. As it happens, the guy must be legit. Also, Stark Sex Labs is the top in the business.

Bucky would know. He ordered some of Hammer Toys’ stuff when he was younger (much cheaper, you see) and it’s nothing compared to Stark’s stuff (to put it mildly, Hammer Toy’s is crap). And apparently, Stark’s designer wants to talk to him about Tetris-themed sex toys.

Two files are attached beneath Steve’s original message. The first is a portfolio of the pieces Steve’s designed already. One of which looks awfully familiar to Bucky. His cheeks heat up and his eyes land on the drawer where he keeps his own self-lubricating dildo.

It’s a testament to Steve’s skills. Guy really knows how to design.

Blinking out of his reverie, Bucky opens the second file, which contain two sketched schematics.

Of two Tetris sex toys.

“Oh my god,” Bucky murmurs, zooming in on the notes about the features Steve’s added for “maximum pleasure.” There are custom remote settings to control the vibration speed of _each cube_ of the blue vibrator. Bucky’s blush darkens.

Closing the file and still slightly in shock, Bucky Googles Steve’s name. It helps to make sure right?

The Stark Sex Labs website pops up, along with several news articles about the company. Steve is mentioned in some of them as a Designer, and part of Stark’s Alpha team, along with Stark himself, Dr. Bruce Banner, Research and Development; Sam Wilson, Quality Control; Sharon Carter, Head of Distribution; Thor Odinson, Customer and User Experience ( _what did that even_ -nope, Bucky’s not gonna ask.).

Instead, he types out a reply to Steve.

**BUCKY BARNES (@dontcallmejames)  
u actually designed the Tetris toys omfg**

He doesn’t even manage to close Twitter before another message is coming in.

 **STEVE ROGERS (sgr_;))  
** **How could I pass up such a good idea? They almost designed themselves.**  
**If you’re game with making these toys into a reality, Tony can start on the prototype. I’d love to bring you and your friend in for input, too. After all, it’s your idea.**

Never in Bucky’s dreams did he ever think he’d be come up with an idea for a sex toy, even in a drunken stupor.

What else could he do but say yes?

*

 **TO CLINT:  
** **Clint a guy from stark sex labs messaged me bc he saw Nat’s video.**  
**He sent me designs. They want to build the tetris toys.**

**FROM CLINT:  
???????????????**

**TO CLINT:  
I said we’re down.**

**FROM CLINT:  
** **holy shit. ok.**  
**want some pizza?**

*

Stark Sex Labs lives up to its name. A huge, phallic symbol smack in the middle of Manhattan. Bucky, Clint, and Nat look up (and up and up and _up_ ).

“Someone’s bound to be compensating for something,” Nat says. She’d invited herself with them, eyebrow eloquently saying ‘you wouldn’t even be here without me’.

“If the dildo fits,” Clint says.

They enter the building.

*

They do not expect to meet Tony Stark.

But meet Tony Stark they do, the man himself coming up to them at the elevator, wearing a suit and sunglasses. He shakes their hands and talks a mile a minute, bringing them into a meeting room where a brunette in a sharp navy suit is waiting.

“The rest of the team can’t be with us right now, but they’ll be here in a couple of weeks with the prototype. I’d like to take ten minutes with you and Maria, our very own Stark Shark. We’re going to have a full gamer line,” Tony says, hands in front of him as a screen materializes. “Pac-Man, Princess Peach, the works.”

Bucky, Clint, and Nat barely even get to sit down.

“Tony, those are copyrighted,” Maria Hill says, rubbing the middle of her forehead. She’s re-introduced herself as one Stark Sex Lab’s lawyers. She looks at Bucky and Clint. “We’re working with Nintendo for your idea, but future projects aren’t on the table yet.”

“Yeah, yeah, depends on the sales and public reception yada yada,” Tony says, flashing the Tetris designs on screen. “Listen, we’ve _definitely_ got a market.”

Clint and Bucky just look at each other.

“Tony, you’re not even supposed to be _in_ this meeting,” Maria says. She looks apologetically at the three of them. “I was going to discuss the legal implications today with you, but it seems Mr. Stark is a little excited.”

Tony huffs. “Well, I’m not the one who drafted the designs almost obsessively overnight, am I?”

“Someone drafted the designs overnight?” Natasha asks.

“Yep,” Tony says. “Seems like Steve _really_ likes this idea.”

“Huh,” Natasha says, flicking a glance over at Bucky.

Bucky doesn’t look at Nat. He doesn’t squirm in his seat, either. (Only one of those is true).

“Cool,” Clint says.

*

Three weeks later, they’re back at Stark Tower.

The first thing Bucky sees when they enter the meeting room is that the prototype is there, displayed in the middle of along table. It sits on an elevated dais, like it’s the Holy Grail or something.

Clint gives a low whistle.

The second thing Bucky notices is that the meeting room’s almost full this time. Stark’s at the head of the table, surrounded by his team.

The third thing Bucky notices is that everyone in the room is pretty much insanely attractive. _Is it part of Stark’s standards to have beautiful people make sex toys???_

“Ah, the men of the hour!” Stark says loudly, waving a hand at them. “Team, that’s the guy who wants you to Leave Pizza Alone, the genius who thought to make sex toys out of Tetris, and a frightening redhead.”

Natasha gives Stark a small nod in approval.

Stark’s team has more decorum than he does. On Stark’s left is a man who introduces himself as Bruce Banner. Next to him is a god-like blond in a man bun, Thor Odinson. Across him is a blonde woman, Sharon Carter, and next to her sits Maria, and a friendly guy who introduces himself as Sam Wilson.

And at the front of the room, stands another blond, eyes as blue as the sky. He’s built too, but not as big as Thor. He’s… just right (like Goldilocks!), only with the chest-waist proportions of a dorito.

Bucky’s jaw might have dropped, a little bit.

Okay, a lot.

“And I’m Steve Rogers,” the blond says, approaching Bucky and shaking his hand.

He has nice hands.

“Meep,” Bucky says. Steve’s lips quirk up into a smirk, and he gestures them towards the remaining empty seats. Steve moves back to the head of the table, where he stands with Tony.

“Let’s begin, shall we?” Tony says. “I’m going to describe all the features, the how-to’s, the works. Steve here is going to demonstrate the product.”

Bucky’s mouth drops open and his brain probably goes offline, because _what?_

“Turning Tetris shapes into sex toys was surprisingly easy, though we of course had to make them into our own. There are all kinds of similar-shaped objects out there. So, aside from form, we focused on function. We began with the vibrations…”

That’s all Bucky hears, because at that point Steve picks up the blue toy in one hand while his other holds a small remote. Bucky thinks Steve could be a hand model or something, because with the way his fingers are delicately wrapped around the toy, they could probably sell anything. Bucky already wants to buy this toy. Which he had the idea for.

Steve adjusts various settings on the remote—which Bucky would probably know the purpose of if he was listening—and flicks a switch. Immediately, the toy starts shaking in his hands, the view being met with a response of inquiring noises from around the table.

“Bucky?”

Startling in his chair, Bucky looks away from the toy (from those _hands_ ) to find everyone staring at him.

He feels heat rise up his neck. “What?”

“I asked what you thought of that feature,” Clint says. Behind him, Natasha raises an eyebrow. “It doesn’t make noise, which is cool, especially if you aren’t living alone.”

“It’s good,” Bucky says absently. He looks back at Steve, who’s smirking at him again. “It’s _great._ ”

Clint shakes his head. “But isn’t the remote a bit complicated, given how many settings there are on it?”

“ _Au contraire_! The remote is very user-friendly. Steve, would you bring it over for a closer look?” Tony says.

Steve does as he’s told and walks over to Clint, devices in hand. Given that Clint is sitting right next to Bucky, it means Bucky is also getting an up-close look at the prototype. Though Clint is the one with the question, Steve’s orienting the presentation so both he and Bucky can clearly see.

Bucky whimpers a little bit.

He’s never going to look at Tetris the same way ever again after this. _Drunk!Bucky, what the fuck were you thinking??_

Satisfied with whatever Steve said, Clint nods his approval and Steve walks back to the front of the room.

“Onto usage!” Tony says merrily.

Holy hell.

“The base rectangular shape doesn’t exactly scream comfort, so I toyed around with the design in order to make it more comfortable,” Steve says, running his finger down one of the corners of the toy. Bucky absently chews at the corner of his lip, transfixed.

His eyes flick up to Steve’s face from the toy. He’s startled to find the blond giving him a heated gaze.

Well. Seems Bucky isn’t the only interested one here, then.

Tony takes over the discussion as they move on to the anal bead toy, inspired by the Tetris T-shape. But Bucky only has eyes for Steve. Raising a challenging eyebrow, Bucky sits forward. With _intent._

“You know, I think some hands-on tests are necessary for me to make my decision,” Bucky says, interrupting the dialogue between Clint and Tony. He’s looking straight at Steve, and he drags his eyes up Steve’s waist, to his chest, then finally meets his gaze. “Gotta make sure it’s the… perfect fit.”

From across him, the man with the biceps bigger than Bucky’s face—Thor—perks up, but Steve speaks first.

“I’m more than happy to help in any way that I can.” He says smoothly, lips lifting up in a smirk.

Bucky licks his lips.

Clint groans. “Aw, come on.”

“Somehow, I never expected James Barnes to be a worse collaborator than Tony Stark.” Nat says dryly.

Tony makes an indignant sound, hand whacking the table. “Excuse me, I am the best.”

Bucky barely hears them, too focused on keeping eye contact with Steve. They get lost in their own little world of heated glances and suggestive eyebrow waggles. Nat films them discreetly. The presentation continues.

*  
When the presentation concludes, there’s a lot of hand-shaking. Everybody on Stark’s team comes up to Bucky and Clint to let them know the Tetris-themed toys should do very well before they exit the room to go do whatever else they do during their day. Maria mentions some forms that will need to be signed at their earliest convenience. Bucky hopes someone on their team writes that down.

Steve and Tony are the only ones lingering.

Tony bounds over to them excitedly.

“They’re great right? Of course they are. Say, do any of you happen to have any other ideas laying around?” He looks to Natasha. “Video ideas?”

“Not unless you want to turn pizza into a sex toy,” Clint says and then sighs forlornly. Only, Tony gets a glint in his eye and taps his nose.

“Never say never, Clinton. Walk with me,” Tony says, opening the door and waving his hand in gesture.

“I didn’t _say_ never…” Clint murmurs, walking through the doorway. Natasha moves to follow, but she turns and raises an eyebrow at Bucky.

“Coming?”

“You go, I’ll meet you in the lobby.” Bucky says, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Natasha smirks in amusement before following Clint out of the conference room.

Bucky turns to Steve, who’s just walked up to him.

“I think you’re underestimating how long Tony likes to keep people when he has an idea,” Steve warns.

“I’m not in any rush.” Bucky shrugs. “You know, this tower is awfully big. Easy to get lost.”

Steve immediately takes the hint, just as Bucky hoped he would. “Well, we wouldn’t want that, now would we? I can bring you down if you’d like.”

“Nothing about me is down around you.”

Steve chuckles, leading Bucky through the door by the small of his back. His hand is warm, and Bucky is glad when he doesn’t move it. In fact, Steve starts drawing random lines with his thumb instead.

It sends a shiver up Bucky’s spine.

Steve notices.

“I know the feeling. You being at that meeting made it awfully difficult to stay focused on the pitch. Especially with the way you like you bite your bottom lip.”

Bucky has no idea how they arrived at the elevator, but he takes the opportunity to turn and face Steve, biting the lip in question. Steve’s eyes immediately lock on it.

“Such a _distraction_ ,” Steve rumbles. Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Nothing could be more distracting than you handling a sex toy, Steve. That should just be illegal.”

They step into the elevator, and Steve presses the floor button without looking away from Bucky. At this point, Bucky doesn’t think he’d care if Steve accidentally sends them to the wrong floor.

“I thought I might have seen a little bit of drool,” Steve muses, breaking the charged tension.

“I was not drooling!”

Steve starts chuckling because apparently, he’s a jerk.

*

When they reach the lobby, Bucky is surprised to find Nat and Clint waiting for them. A young girl dressed in purple seems to have just finished taking a selfie with Clint, who is now looking adoringly at the piece of pizza in his hand.

Ever since the pizza video, Bucky’s gotten used to pizza suddenly appearing around Clint.

He sees Natasha’s eyes catch on Steve’s hand, which has returned to its place on the small of Bucky’s back. She grins.

“Thanks for keeping me from getting lost,” Bucky says.

“If you need anything else, you know where to find me,” Steve says, drawing his hand away. “Bye, Buck.”

Bucky murmurs an unintelligible reply, and is then treated to the sight of Steve walking away.

And what a sight it is.

*

**STEVE ROGERS (sgr_;))  
Know what my favorite planet is?**

**BUCKY BARNES (@dontcallmejames)  
what**

**STEVE ROGERS (sgr_;))  
Uranus ;)**

**BUCKY BARNES (@dontcallmejames)  
** **...u haven’t even been there**  
**But ur welcome to come on friday night**

**STEVE ROGERS (sgr_;))  
It’s a date.**

*

It’s the end of the week, and Bucky is _finally_ on a date with Steve (after many, many suggestive Twitter DMs and text messages). They’re sitting in front of the counter of Bucky’s favorite bar, stools pushed close together. The lights are low and a mix of EDM and R &B plays overhead. Steve’s got the beginnings of a beard that Bucky feels everytime Steve talks into his ear to be heard over the music.

(It _is_ Bucky’s favorite for a reason.)

Bucky has had a low grade thrum of arousal in his gut since Steve came in wearing a fucking leather jacket and a white henley. Wearing shirts that don’t fit seems to be his fashion statement. Bucky’s on board this train.

He hopes to take a ride on something else later, too.

*

Steve’s got Bucky against the wall just inside of his apartment. His hands are under Bucky’s shirt, firm fingers around his waist. They might also be making out like teenagers.

“Guess what,” Steve asks, when they resurface for air. His voice is low, lower lip red from where Bucky had bitten on it.

“What?” Bucky asks. Why is Steve talking? He’s ready for clothes to come _off_ , already, hands at Steve’s flies. The leather jacket can stay.

Steve shifts and pulls out the blue, l-shaped vibrator from the inside of his jacket, smirking.

Bucky bursts out laughing, fingers curling on one of Steve’s belt loops. “Shall we give it a try?”

*

So, Tetris-shaped sex toys? Bucky’s best idea _ever_.

 

(Clint refuses to touch _any_ of the prototypes at the final pre-production meeting.)


End file.
